My Papa loves to watch NCIS. It is well written, exciting, and after of all the frightening and stressful events there is the loveliest of things: a solution.  I always want a solution. If there is an answer then I don’t have to sit with the complex feelings of sadness, grief, fear, and/or anger.  But the truth is not all problems have a solution. Sometimes they are just hard. Discomfort will pass but it takes great courage to be with it.

The goal then of hard time is to accept it, to find ways to sooth and distract, not avoid but to comfort oneself with compassion.  

I still find it much easier to hunt for solutions, avoid the pain and/or blame others for the pain. But the truth is only when I acknowledge how hard something is, take accountability for myself and what I am bringing to the table does it ease up, after time has passed.  

There are no solutions for pain. It just is. As my favorite quote says, “Life with bring you pain all by itself it is your job to create joy.”  It does not say just feel joy cause you can avoid pain. It says pain is part of life. Be with it and create joy, perhaps sharing our joys comforts others sitting with their own pain.

How do I create joy?

·         I can create beautiful drawings.

·         I can be warm and kind to those around me.

·         I can be helpful.

·         I can find ways to laugh so I can share my humor.

·         I can advocate for the vulnerable.

·         I can take care of myself so I don’t add to others burdens.